Tag Archive | The grieving process

Stop And Appreciate What You Have

I realised this week that I have been rushing around so much lately, that I have become very tired and I needed to re-charge my batteries.   With this in mind I decided to take a day off from the allotment.

My sping cabbages.

My sping cabbages.

As you have probably guessed by now, I’m not very good at sitting still and resting.  In fact I only managed to sit down for about five minutes, before I stood up to do something.

I sorted my three freezers out and made a list of what was in them.  I then made nine pots of jam with strawberries that I had grown last year and froze.  I changed the beds and afterwards I made some dairyfree ice cream for my youngest daughter (you can find the recipe here).

I did these things slowly as I didn’t need to rush, after all I hadn’t planned to do them today.  Strangely, this made me feel better, as none of the things felt like a chore, though recently they had.

It made me realise that I have somehow got into this routine of rushing everything, without stopping to take stock of what I need to do, or why I even do it.  I wondered why this had happened.

My homemade strawberry jam

My homemade strawberry jam

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will remember that one of my oldest friends passed away in February.  I wrote a tribute to her here.  Since then, I have been trying to get on with things as the British do, ‘with a stiff upper lip’.  What I realised today, is what I have actually been doing, is to do as many things as possible so I don’t have time to think about what has happened.

While I was slowly doing my jobs today my friend kept popping into my mind, probably because I finally let myself think of her and how much it hurts that I can’t see her again.

I have lovely happy memories of our times together, so why on earth would I want to lock these memories away so I can’t remember them?…I’ll make sure I don’t again.  I suppose this is part of the grieving process.

A robin that visits me daily at my allotment.

A robin that visits me daily at my allotment.

So today I have learnt that sometimes you need to stop and become aware of what is happening in your life and within you.  I concentrated on ‘just today’ and how I was feeling and now I feel better for it.

It has reminded me that I love the way we live and I feel so blessed to spend my days growing salads, fruit and vegetables and looking after my family.

Over the years money has been tight, as we chose for me to give up work, when our first daughter was born.  Looking back, I am very proud of how we managed. We have two beautiful daughters and a nice home. It doesn’t have posh furniture or the latest gadgets, but it is a ‘home’, where we have shared so many happy memories together.

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I wonder how many of you reading this blog today, have found yourself rushing around so much that you can’t see the wood for the trees?  Life is so short and it’s important that we stop and appreciate what we have.

Thank you for reading my blog today.

I’ll be back on Monday.

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