I Forgot To Stop And Smell The Roses

 

I’ve didn’t feel too well this weekend and so I decided to take a rest from my allotment.  I think I am just feeling a bit run down and needed some time to relax.

So today I was wondering what I could write about and decided to look through some of my older posts.

As I have lots of new followers now I thought it would be a good idea to share my favourite post, which I wrote not long after I started to blog.  I wrote this post knowing my good friend was very poorly and as you know in February 2013 she passed away.

  For a while after my friend died, I spent a lot of time pondering whether I needed to change things in my life and how we live as a family.  Last month as you know, another family friend passed away and the same questions surfaced in my mind.

Last week we spent time with old friends and I was asked why I don’t get a ‘proper job’…this really threw me, as I didn’t know how to answer.  This isn’t like me at all and I have been feeling really unsettled since…..but reading my post below has made me put things back in perspective and reminded me of why we chose for me to stay at home and run my four allotments.

For a while now I have forgotten to ‘stop and smell the roses’ and this post has made me realise I need to make a bigger effort to take time out every so often to do this.  I will then be able to answer confidently, that I don’t have a ‘proper job’ because I am one of the luckiest people on earth.

I hope you enjoy reading the blog post below:

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Stop and smell the roses

(written Sept 18th 2012)

This is a phrase that we are all familiar with.  It simply means that we should take time to appreciate something we have, or to pay attention to the good things that happen right under our noses.

If we are all honest, how often can we say that we do actually ‘sit back and smell the roses’ ourselves.  I would put money on it, that it’s not that often.

Life is so so busy now for everyone.  Time goes so quickly and we are all trying to get ‘this and that’ finished, before we go on to the next ‘this and that’.

Today I did sit back and smell the roses:

Remember my wild flowers?  You can read about my wild flower patch here.

They are still flowering beautifully and there are so many insects still flying around.  So much activity is going on, it takes my breath away to just stand still and watch it.

I feel very privileged to be able to just ‘stop and stare’, especially on such a beautiful sunny morning.

We chose for me to give up work, when our first daughter was born.  This was very scary at the time, as money was a big issue.  But looking back, I am very proud of how we managed.  We have two beautiful daughters and a nice home.  It doesn’t have posh furniture or the latest gadgets, but it is a ‘home’, where we have shared so many happy memories together.

What we didn’t realise when I gave up working and our so called ‘luxuries’, was how much happiness it would bring.

In fact, looking back at our old life, ‘keeping up with the Jones’ gave us a ‘carousel’ life, that just went round and round:

‘We worked hard to pay for new gadgets and expensive holidays and worked more hours to pay for the gadgets and expensive holidays, we brought more things, worked more hours, became more in debt, so we worked more hours and took a bank loan to pay off the credit cards and then had another expensive holiday, bought more gadgets etc. etc.’

  All the time we thought the holidays and new gadgets etc. would make us happy, but if they made us so happy then why did we keep on spending money on more and more things?  The carousel would never have stopped if we hadn’t made that life changing decision, for me to give up my job and we would never have known about the surprising benefits.

Do I have any regrets?…  NO.  If we had the chance to go back in time, with the same circumstances and the same money coming in, we would live exactly the same.

When I reach those pearly gates, my only regret is that I didn’t meet my husband earlier and live this life with him sooner.

My blog was a little bit different today.   I hope you still enjoyed reading it.

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35 thoughts on “I Forgot To Stop And Smell The Roses

  1. as far as I can see you are doing the most ‘proper’ job on earth! People are so blinkered…. so many today just haven’t thought it through and are on a rollercoaster to who knows what.
    growing food, feeding and nurturing a family is the most important job in the world 🙂
    I do hope you are feeling better, be kind to yourself you so deserve it xx

  2. Hope you’re feeling a bit better today. I think sometimes it does us good to give in to ourselves and rest, look around at the things we are truly blessed with and relax. There’s really no use in trying to keep up with others, just to be at peace with ourselves and the way we try to lead our lives. I think as gardeners, home makers and cooks we value the smaller things in life and quietly smile knowing we have the very best for our loved ones at heart. Well done Mrs T we all admire you. : )

    • Oh bless you marise that is so kind of you to say and what a lovely way to think about it “we value the smaller things in life and quietly smile knowing we have the very best for our loved ones at heart”.

  3. I hope you are feeling better- you are indeed an inspiration to many.I regularly check out your posts and in fact they have helped in so many ways from laundry soap to hampers to roman blinds!Many thanks.

  4. I made the decision to go part time in 2012 so I had time to smell the roses 🙂 Of course my life is still busy but in a more meaningful way (eg having the time for friends and hobbies). At first money was tight as I got used to my new earnings but as you have found life becomes a lot richer when you stop thinking about the next gadget etc.

    Sorry to hear about the loss of people close to you.

  5. I have a ” no spare space left” allotment, work full time, and a single mum of a 10 year old daughter .. recently found out that I would have the after school time and school holidays with my daughter (rather than paying out of school clubs) and save £50 per week, if I switched to benefits compared to what I earn at my current local job (they repeatedly refuse to let me work part time) but I am too scared to lose my only sense of security, and possibly my mortgaged home. Reading your blog makes me think I should take the risk. I know it’s a no brainer on paper and I would do it if I had a boyancy aid or a sounding block. You are v v lucky to have a rock of a husband – he sounds as though he really appreciates you too!! Keep blogging, hon… you provide more inspiration and support out there than you think!!! X

    • Hi bc scwiggs. You have to do what you have to do and what is best for you. It was a very very hard decision for me to give up work when I had my daughters and I’ve got to say it was a steep learning curve at the beginning and times I thought we had done the wrong thing. Our way of living is unusual now but not 50 years ago and so it was very hard when we used to see people spending money like water around us, but we turned it into a challenge and felt better about it…but even now the green eyed monster surfaces sometimes and I have to give myself a good talking too lol.

      Think very hard before you make any decision, as I have my husbands wage as security and you are on your own.

  6. I do hope that you are feeling better today, i gave up work when i was expecting my first son i never regreted it, they are all grown now and in good careers, my daughter is now expecting and she said to me the other day, “I want my child to have the same happy childhood that i had”, there is no amount of money or possesions that i would ever swap for the life i have lead, and for my daughter to say that just made me feel like its been asll worth while.
    sue

    • Sue that is lovely and I would feel very proud if my daughter said that to me. Now that my daughters are 14 and 16 I have asked them a few times if they would prefer me to go back to work so they have more money to spend and each time they have replied they would rather me be here for them when the come home from school etc etc….it does give me a lovely warm feeling

  7. Do hope you are so much better today.
    Anyone who looks after 4 allotments & produces all that food does have ‘a proper job’!
    I would think your life is much happier than many of those who do have ‘ a proper job ‘
    I among others enjoy reading about all you do.

    Best wishes,
    Angela (Devon)

  8. I really admire what you do! If not a ‘proper’ job it is the most worthwhile one! I stayed at home with my two girls until the youngest was 5, and then took part time work, going on to full time 6 years ago. We certainly could not have helped them through uni without my contribution, and now I feel scared to give up because I want to guard against hardship in my old age. I hate working full time, I want to be at home! Perhaps in two years when the mortgage is paid off I will be able to go part time again.

    In the meantime I look forward to reading about your activities on the allotment!

    Sandra x

  9. Such a lovely post. I don’t work either, and it is the best thing to be at home and bring up children. Looking back, I can see how much money we wasted on things – it’s a shame we weren’t more frugal! But we are now, and we don’t feel like we’re missing anything. I hope you’re feeling better soon. I’m having a rest from the allotment today as well, but no doubt I’ll be back there very soon. CJ xx

  10. Reading down the comments I see you are feeling better, and I am so glad to hear it.
    I also find myself marvelling at how relevant this is, even now. You could have written it yesterday, couldn’t you!
    You are so blessed to be able to pull back and appreciate what you have (even if you forget to do so sometimes , eh. As do we all) my husband has been in a bad place for a little while, and he has literally been unable to see the better side of life. Your blog is so sweet and direct it spoke to me and lifted me up. Plus, flowers are always a bonus

    • Oh Mrs Yub I hope you are all ok? I am always here for a private chat on facebook if you ever need to. You have supported me from day one on my blog and it is lovely to have you as a friend, so if I can help you by offering a listening ear you know where to find me.

      • Thank you Mrs T, I will remember that. I have made an appointment with a dietitian to see if anything in our diet can be tweeked, and am basically just taking it a day at a time. That being said I am so blessed to have wonderful people like you in my life for support (directly and indirectly) and I thank you.

  11. Glad to read that you are better.

    This post really spoke to me. We are in flux at the moment and I decided that yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life. I have been too scared for a long time to try and change my career to some thing I am actually interested in. I have been doing a job that I am ‘good at’.

    My pension statement came and I looked at it, felt really down had a bit of a cry to myself that I have to carry on doing a job that isn’t for me. The thought of doing this job for another 30+ years. I have already changed slightly in January. I am working really hard on the ‘work life balance’ right now.

    I have put my money where my mouth is and paid for a course. It is a lot of money and is a year long. It will mean a job that could be part time and earn the same as I do, doing 40 hours. I can then concentrate on my home and my garden. Making it nice for us to be in and for me to be able to support The Mr more. This is a role that is from years gone by, but I think it is important.

    Every family is unique, each house becomes a home because of who lives there and their bond inside it. A proper job? Don’t make me laugh. To raise children to be good honest Citizens who will contribute to society, there is no better job done.

    You keep going!

    • Thanks Sol. I must say I used to feel the same years ago when I was stuck in an office, as you say ‘doing something I was good at’ but hating it. Like you say I do a ‘role’ from years gone by…but I think they had it right. I also think us women have made life hard for ourselves as we still do the things we did at home (but not so well) and hold down a full time job and look after the children….women have ended up feeling shattered all the time and not doing anything to their best ability due to time (which isn’t their fault). I better get off my soap box now lol.

      I am glad we live the way we do, but I do know it wouldn’t be everybodys ‘cup of tea’.

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